


Proximity

by Gurkenkopf



Series: é-lu [3]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Eliott POV, M/M, Panic Attack, Post episode 5, Pre Episode 5, Yann Pov, different POVs, will end with fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 19:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17904125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gurkenkopf/pseuds/Gurkenkopf
Summary: Yann should have seen it coming. He was already so distant at the pregame. When Lucas first texted them, he thought that whatever was going on with him, whatever was bothering him, was over and they could finally go back to the way they were. And then Lucas went off like a firecracker.- or whats happening Pre/Post Episode 5 from different POVs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> not an english native speaker so excuse my errors!

Yann should have seen it coming. He was already so distant at the pregame. When Lucas first texted them, he thought that whatever was going on with him, whatever was bothering him, was over and they could finally go back to the way they were. Without Lucas ghosting them, without him shutting them out, ignoring them. Just going back to hanging out and having fun, laughing around and getting shitfaced. But now, here, he seemed even further away than before.

Basile and Arthur were both still angry, ignoring Lucas mood swings and usually he would too. But out of different reasons. Lucas was a private person, not talking much about his problems or himself. When his parents split it was the same. He ghosted them, shutting himself off, and then one day he just appeared on his front door in the middle of the night, looked like he’d been through hell and hadn’t slept in days, which wasn’t that far off. And of course Yann took him in, without questions asked. Gave him a blanket and watched his best friend sleep on his couch for the next 18 hours. When he finally did wake up, it took him two more days to open up and spit out whatever was on his mind. Whatever it was, that was eating him up inside. But that’s just how Lucas was, if you push him, he’d close himself up and role into a defensive ball of fury. But if you just patiently wait, he will come around and talk about it on his own terms. Or at least that’s what Yann remembered.

And then Lucas went off like a firecracker. Crashing Arthurs glasses, so much hate in his eyes, and Yann wasn’t sure who this person in front of him really was. He thought they were friends. He thought they were brothers. He thought he knew him better than any one else. So when he heard the whispers, heard the gossip, Yann laughed it off. If it was true, he’d know. Heck he would be one of the first persons to know right? But more and more people approached him.

_“what happened out there?”_

_“Is it true?”_

_“He punched him because he’s gay?”_

And more and more Yann grew defensive.

_“It was just a fight under friends. None of your business.”_

_“No, its not.”_

_“Piss off!”_

But the more he thought about it, the more everything made sense. And soon he couldn’t stand there any longer, with Arthur, angry at Lucas, trying to fix his glasses. Basile ranting on and on about what a dick move Lulu just pulled. Eva and Daphné supporting them and asking questions. And Yann- not knowing what happened with his best friend, where he went and what pushed him so far to the edge. So he stepped outside, determined to get to the bottom of it. He waited, it rang once, twice. After the 5th time it went to voice mail. Damn it, Lucas. His stomach sank. He tried again. With every ring Yann grew more worried, more apprehensive. After the fourth try, he gave up and called Mika instead.

“Yann what’s up?” “Hey, are you at home?” “No. Why? Did Lucas forget his key and phone again?” How could he not be worried? “Is anybody at home?” “Probably Lisa, maybe Manon. Something wrong?” Yes, something is wrong. Everything is. “Thanks.” Without explanation he hung up and was already dialling Manon.

“Good evening Yann, if you’re calling because of the girls I will be at the party shortly.” She laughed lightly. “Is Lucas home?” “Shouldn’t he be with you?” “Damn it. No, we went to the party, but he took off an hour ago.” “the one at Chloes?” “Yes.” Maybe Manon could tell how worried he really was. “He should be home by now.” He knows. “I know.” Of course he does. “Have you tried his phone?”

When he finally ended the call and filled her in, they decided that Manon would stay home and wait for Lucas and Yann would look around and search for him. Just as he wanted to bid the boys goodbye and start looking, a tall guy blocked his way. He seemed familiar, but it took Yann a couple of seconds to put the pieces together. It was the same guy who returned his scarf to Lucas. He seemed on edge. His hands constantly running through his hair or over his lips. He couldn’t stand still for a second. “Is Lucas here?” It wasn’t the question that stung Yann. It was the way he asked. Somehow hopeful but at the same time like he wished the answer was no. Like he wasn’t no one as Lucas put it the other day. “Ah, he was. But he took off.” The answer didn’t seem to satisfy the guy, but Yann didn’t care, he had other problems, so he just brushed passed him.


	2. Chapter 2

This whole week was a fucking roller-coaster ride. Monday he was still on the soaring high, still the tingling feeling of Lucas hands on his skin, lighting him on fire. Enveloped in his smell and the sound of his heart beat. Slowly but steadily he broke down Eliotts walls, with a whispering voice and quiet confessions, entangled in each other. He could still taste him. The next day came the first little down fall. Harsh words and bad excuses, both said things they didn’t mean. He never meant to hurt Lucille. She was the one always on his side. Helping him, guiding him, listening to him. She never meant to make him cry. Fuelling his angst with words. Oh and how his uncertainty grew. She was just feeding gasoline to the flames in his mind. “He doesn’t even know you. Doesn’t know anything about you! Do you really think he can love you? Love all of you? Be there for you?” But he kept strong, to fresh the memory, Lucas words in his heart. He was different. His Choupisson. This was different. With him everything clicked into place. So don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright.

But then it wasn’t. Crazy people. He qualified as one of those. He was one of those. He could tell from the way he said it, that it hurt him, not talking to his mom. More than he would ever admit. And Eliott would just hurt him more, with his craziness. With his true self. Lucas could never understand, would never understand. He would never be there for him, next to him. How could he, when all he did was bringing people down. And he just simply couldn’t do that to Lucas. He couldn’t do that to himself. He hated to be this dependent on people. But sometimes that’s just how it was. Eliott knew it was unhealthy, but hell so was he. He pulled the walls back up, put his heart back into place, back where it belonged. And he crawled back to her. Of course he did. And she knew. In this moment she knew just how much he needed her, and he knew Lucille was right. She was his safe heaven, the person most reliable, the person who would never turn her back on him. And even after Lucas, after this whole mess, Lucille didn’t laugh at him, didn’t exploit it. She just held his hand again, dragged him along with her and that’s how he ended at Chloes place. Chloe of all people. But at least that was the last place Lucas would show. How could he have been so wrong.

Just as he was trying so hard to fix everything, to fix himself and his feelings, he heard it. “Is Lucas home?” And it really did feel like a roller coaster ride. His heart beat speeding up, the dropping feeling of his stomach, pulling the rug out under his feet. Eliotts hands turned cold and sweaty, simultaneously his mouth became dry. “He was in a fight and left. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Yeah stay there, I will look for him. Thanks Manon, bye.” He couldn’t look away. It was Yann, he recognized him from school and the pictures in his room. He came closer but Eliott couldn’t move. “Is Lucas here?” he didn’t even know how he could form words, with his stomach in knots and his tongue like a brick in his mouth. He certainly would notice, notice that his world was just spiralling down. Notice the other questions left unsaid. How long was he here? When was he here? With whom did he fight? Did he see? Is he okay? Where is he? Is Lucas here? “Ah, he was. But he took off.” Without another explanation he just brushed past him. Leaving him tumbling, swaying. Looking for safe ground but finding none. He couldn’t ignore this, he couldn’t fix his feelings. The rest of the night Eliott looked everywhere for him. Every face that passed him at the party was inspected twice, even though he knew he wouldn’t come back here. On his way home he thought about going to Petite ceinture, just to check if he was there. But who was he kidding? That was his place, polaris. He would never be that important to him. Even Lucille couldn’t calm him down. He was restless for the whole weekend, his mind going in circles. His phone in his hands, but never dialling. Messages crafted, but never send. He was so fucking tired. But sleep was the cousin of death and he already felt like he was slowly wasting away, so he didn’t need that now. When Monday was finally only a few hours away, he could feel himself hope again. Tomorrow he would see him, he would finally know if Lucas was alright. If he came home that night. He could have checked, Eliott knew that. And he was so damn close to it. Just underneath his window, down on the street, hidden by the shadows. But every time he only thought about ringing this damn doorbell, he was falling apart again. So he went back. Back to where his apartment walls seemed to suffocate him and just watched as the hours ticked by.

When he finally saw him again, he wished he hadn’t. He seemed even smaller than he was before. Seemed like he was trying to hide himself from prying eyes with too big clothes and hunched shoulders. Eliott had heard the rumours. It was impossible not to. It echoed around the whole school, finding every corner, every ear willing to hear. But even as invisible as Lucas may have liked himself to be, he simply wasn’t. Even with his eyes fixed on the floor and scurrying through the corridors, hands found him, pushing him to the ground. Books falling in every direction. “Watch it Fag!” laughing, and horrible words. He didn’t deserve this. Any of this. Quickly he picked up the books, his finger tingling in anticipation of his proximity. “Are you alrigth?” Eliott looked up. It was Yann that helped him up. His hand that touched his shoulder. He tried to look at Lucas, read his thoughts, but he was so different. Around Eliott, he was an open book, he had been able to read every emotion and every thought on Lucas face, but now he was a blank cover. His lips pressed to a narrow line, a bruise in his face. Not even the faint voice coming from him sounded like the small fierce boy he knew. “Thanks, I am fine.” Even though he should know better, even though his brain told him to be careful and run, he etched closer. His book in Eliotts outstretched hand. There eyes met. And it hurt.  There was not warmth, there was no fury, no emotion behind those beautiful deep blue eyes. And that hurt more than he thought was possible. Slowly Lucas took the book out of his hand, careful not to touch him. There eyes were still linked, both couldn’t look away. “Shit Lucas what happened to your hand?” A quick glance but he already curled back into himself. Hiding, making himself invisible. “Nothing, it’s fine. I’ll have to go. I’ll see you later.” Without so much as a glance Lucas turned around and left both, Yann and Eliott in the middle of the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading Mecs. I really hope you liked it.   
> This chapter is for the beautiful people in Le Gang because I probably wouldn't have posted this, if it wasn't for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!   
> More chapters will follow shortly.


End file.
